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Why Self-Care Isn't Enough

Updated: Dec 18, 2023

Back in 2020, having recently started a Facebook group, I posted the weekly Sunday self-care reminder. I then asked the members of the group what they thought the difference was between self-care and self-love. What I soon realized was that there didn’t seem to be much distinction. It all seemed very blurred. And so, I took it upon myself to understand both better.

The Interconnected Cycle of Self-Care, Self-Love & Self-Belief

Love is an action. Love is a doing word as much as it is a feeling. The same is true with care. We can feel a sense of care for someone, and we can do things to show that we care. With both, it’s not a one-and-done. It’s an ongoing practice.

The very same principle applies to self-belief. The three are very much interconnected. The more we believe in ourselves, the more we believe we are worthy of caring for ourselves. The more we care for ourselves, the more we demonstrate love for ourselves. The more we love ourselves, the more we believe in ourselves, and the interconnected cycle continues.

However, when we don’t believe in ourselves, we can experience doubt and anxiety, which can stop us from making decisions or taking action to improve our lives. When we don’t care for ourselves, we can see and feel the impact on our physical, mental, and emotional health, which can then impact our social and financial status. When we don’t love ourselves, we can find ourselves tolerating situations and people who diminish our value and cause us to question our belief in ourselves. And again, the interconnected cycle continues.

We can all identify times when we haven’t believed in, cared for, or loved ourselves. It’s part of the human experience. One that can have dire consequences if we lack a solid foundation for how to achieve and maintain a thriving, interconnected cycle.

So the important questions are:

How can you believe in yourself more?

How can you care for yourself more?

How can you love yourself more?

Believe in Yourself More

As children, we believed anything was possible through the games we played. It was easy and natural to play. To have fun. To tell stories. To use our imagination. As adults, when we consciously choose to play, we immediately feel lighter. Unburdened. Even if just for a moment.

Play more and laugh more. Observe how enjoying life more helps you to believe in yourself more.

What game are you choosing to play?

I suggest playing the GAME of life every single day.

  • Gratitude grounds you in the present moment and helps you appreciate all that you are and all that you have. It’s an instant mood shifter.

  • Affirmations are the words you say to yourself, which have a more powerful impact on your brain than words another person says to you. I encourage you to transform your inner critic into your inner cheerleader.

  • Meditation is all about getting in the zone for unleashing new levels of relaxation, inspiration, and creativity. We make better decisions when we are relaxed. We take better actions and solve problems more creatively when we are inspired.

  • Exercise and movement are key to releasing emotions trapped in the body. From shaking and walking to dancing, any form of movement will give you that relief from the release.

Care for Yourself More

What does it mean to care for yourself beyond the occasional massage or retreat? We often believe that we lack the time, money, and energy to invest in regular self-care, which leads us to save up for the occasional big-ticket items. Despite the immediate feeling of rejuvenation, this approach is neither long-lasting nor sustainable.

Establishing consistent morning and evening routines will serve you and set you up for success. It’s all about how you treat your mind, body, and soul.

Be intentional in prioritizing your wellness through the following:

  • sleep

  • nutrition

  • physical movement

  • fresh air and sunshine

  • meaningful connections

  • mindful content consumption

  • safe and uplifting environments

Love Yourself More

Imagine giving yourself the same depth of love that you give to others while recognizing your ability to continue to love them even through disappointment. Why is it so hard to love ourselves when we feel like we’re falling short?

To love yourself more, start by accepting the wholeness and fullness that is all of you. Lean into curiosity over those parts of you that you judge or reject. Seek ways that you can show yourself more forgiveness and grace.

Prioritize how you invest your time, money, and energy. Always be willing to receive love and support from others to ensure your cup is full, which allows you to give from your saucer rather than your cup.

Are the promises you're making and keeping in alignment with your core values, intentions, and purpose? How do you speak to yourself when you break promises to yourself? How do you celebrate your achievements … even the small ones?

Remember to Make Yourself a Priority

It is so easy in this busy world and with our busy lives to put other people and other priorities first. Doing so can delay us from living the fullest expression of ourselves. It can stop us from sharing our unique skills, gifts, and talents with the world. To do what we came here to do. To be all that we are.

So, wherever you are right now, take a moment to pause, to breathe, to drop from your head space into your heart space. To reconnect to the feeling part of you and from that place, remember to make yourself a priority.

Remember why you are here. Remember who you are. You are love.


Hema Patel is a proud partner of All That We Are®. She uses a unique blend of Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) hypnotherapy and coaching to process unresolved wounds from unhealed trauma, grief, and loss. She helps her clients interrupt old patterns so they can write a new story for their lives. Her approach is rooted in the belief that the past doesn’t have to dictate the future.

For support to create the future you desire and deserve, contact Hema at


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